Understanding Women’s Instinct

"I would rather trust a women's instinct than a man's reason" - Stanley Baldwin

A woman normally follows her heart and a modern woman's instinct is a good blend of her heart and her head. Though reason has a major hand in her determining her life partner, it is her instinct that first sets her in the path of love. It has to strike her instinct for the person to be her special 'he'. The man has to woo her instinct rather than her in winning her heart. Today's woman's instinct is seldom prone to making errors in the choice of her partner. Her instinct helps her foresee as to how her life will shape up with a particular person. It is somewhere deep within her heart, an intuition or an instinct tells her what has to be decided. Reason spring up with the validity of facts but the absence of a positive signal from her instincts results in a less fulfilling relationship like that of a beautiful flower sans fragrance.

Women are naturally prone to nest building, home making and family life. They are genetically featured to care taking and protecting.

Women possess better emotional stability when compared to men. A man's reason coupled with a woman's instinct will help in accurate decision making at home. Her womanly instinct with her patience and forbearance, love and warmth sets the platform for a harmonious home. Her instinct plays a major role in her family life in decision-making from the choice of her kid's school to major decisions like investments and children's marriage. A school with novel features and facilities may not interest her as her motherly instinct will look out for a place that will be more comfortable for her child to grow and learn. Similarly her motherly instincts play a major role guiding her son or her daughter in the choice of their partners for a happy and harmonious life. Her instincts points out what features in a marriage proposal will provide her daughter a peaceful living.

Hence women's instincts work the best almost all the time, we just need to know which is more to cling to the truth and which is just an assumption. We know where our hearts are. After all, it’s our heart that talks with our instinct.


"Always give glory to the Highest Throne, our Maker."

A Woman’s Agony on “Long Distance Relationship”

A letter from an annonymous reader:

Dear Arda,

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship since we started. Though I am not completely satisfied with the idea, but this is how we met so I am trying my best to get used to it. He kept telling me that he loves me and wants to be with me, but I can't help but feel that I make all the sacrifices in this relationship in terms of visiting and prioritizing. I visited him together with our friends this summer just to be with him even for a few days. When I was there, I extremely understood that he had some compromises during those times so he had to attend to his so-called commitments before me. We were inseparable in private but surprisingly, he didn’t want to show affection in public. He has beautiful plans of having a successful future and family. But never did I hear that it was me whom he will marry someday. He said that he’d someday find time to visit me and meet my family as soon as he finds enough resources required. We met through a “sort of” dating network. I often find myself giggling every time he sends me something “sweet” posted on my page like a “quote” or tags with sweet pictures and the likes, only to find out that he also sends them to some of his other female friends on net. It hurts because he seems to treat me like “just” one of his common friends. I only found this out accidentally at first, but later on, I randomly check on his female friends’ page just to see his interest on them. During these times, I gave him the “benefits of the doubt” so I kept telling myself that he’s just being friendly. The sad part is that every time I do this, I am being masochist, hurting myself. Jealousy became part of my daily interaction with him but barely let him see it. I know for a fact that I am not his priority and I absolutely understand this. However, I am not comfortable with this set up and with the kind of treatment he is throwing at me. For several times, I am tempted to end this relationship to let him feel my importance but I know myself, once I said goodbye, it’s for good. No turning back.

Do you think he really loves me? Any inputs will be appreciated.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
May

Arda’s reponse:

Dear May,

I can relate to your problem because I am also a woman who wants attention from her partner. Giving him the benefits of the doubt is a good part despite everything else. I can see that he loves you, but coming from your own words, you are just being treated as one of his common friends, never a lover. Accept the fact that he doesn’t love you the way you love him.

Try to talk to your boyfriend about your agony and from his reaction, reevaluate and weight things up. See what he has to say; it may lead you to an understanding or it may show you that you're better off breaking up, but at least you'll know that you did what you could.

You don’t deserve to be feeling desperate about the relationship, much more that you don’t deserve to be neglected and be on his last list. If it is already hurting you and never will make you any happier, then end your relationship and move on. Don’t waste your time to something you’re not sure of. Life is beautiful and you’re missing a lot spending it to something depressing.

At any rate, remember that long distance relationships are grueling, and don't force yourself to do something that just doesn't work for you. Lastly, it is still “you” who know and can feel if it is really time to end your relationship with your boyfriend or live up to what he is capable of.

God bless you!

Arda

Understanding Women’s Ways of Being Beautiful

Asked in an interview, a sexy 30 year-old celebrity mother, answered why she remains young-looking and sexy, responded, “Positive thinking and time management, I have always had a positive outlook even when we (couple) were having problems — part of a couple’s continuing adjustment process, you know. Being in showbiz and being a family woman is very complicated, so it helps to have a positive attitude. Peace of mind for both of us, I have my own world and he has his own.”

Let me summarize some points to ponder in staying beautiful:
1. Positive Thinking –
No matter how difficult life seems to be, be optimistic and hope for the best.
2. Taking Power Naps -
Even if you don’t seem to have enough time to sleep, find time to take a nap whenever possible to boost the energy.
3. Taking Vitamins –
Find ways to know the right vitamins for you, depending on your needs. You may ask your doctor about this.
4. Pray a lot –
Taking everything in prayer leads to a more constructive result. There’s no doubt about talking to the Supreme One whenever you don’t have anywhere else to go. So why not make this a habit.
5. Taking Good Care of Yourself -
No matter how busy you are, don’t forget to take care of yourself. You must love yourself so you can love others too.
6. Proper Diet –
Make sure you don’t take so much cholesterol that adds up to fats causing illnesses like hypertensions, heart diseases, etc.
7. Regular Exercise –
Take a walk at least 10-15 minutes a day. If you go to work or school everyday, you must be grateful taking a walk going to the terminal.

It makes a difference if you enjoy what you’re doing. This is where your brighter side comes in. Like for example if you don’t like doing the traditional exercises, try dancing. I love dancing so I use this privilege to have exercise that I need.

Being beautiful is not only the physical thing, it is also how you feel about yourself. Feel and think you are a beautiful person, and then you will glow and look one.

Understanding Woman's Temper

How dangerous can a woman’s temper be? Temper tantrums is a scary thing, considering that most women can hit and kick just as hard as men do, especially when adrenaline kicks in. They are just conditioned to not let the guys know this, simply because the image should remain. That women are soft and breakable and men are resistant to pain. This isn’t true either, and should not be an excuse for a woman to hurt her partner.
When a woman is already hurting her partner physically, it's not a tantrum. Physical violence is something else that should be treated psychologically. Anything violent should not be tolerated and can be a form of abuse. Children throw tantrums. Women and men do not throw tantrums if they've actually grown up. So I conclude, tantrums apply to people who have not grown up.
How do we define temper? Temper is a state of mind regarding calmness or anger. A term referring to a current state or display of temperament, commonly used in a negative context– eg, “She has a real bad temper today.”

There are many factors that affect a woman’s temper, some are as follows:

1. Hormonal Changes during Pregnancy -

Pregnancy affects each woman differently. Hormonal changes during pregnancy can indeed cause mood changes, starting from anxiety or agitations to developing major clinical symptoms of depression. There are physical development during pregnancy, thus pain is also present which collaborates to mood swings.

2. Depression -

When you are in a depression episode you don't eat well, avoid showers, which obviously affects the health. This is the reason why sometimes we feel sick even if we are not. Oftentimes, depression leads to suicidal thoughts too, because depression reaches the brain to be down and hopeless. It is just important, whether for a man or a woman, to know how to control their emotions and get away with it.

3. PMS -

Women may experience emotional and physical changes prior to menstruation. The medical term for these changes is "premenstrual syndrome," commonly called PMS. Premenstrual emotional and physical changes occur in nearly 80% of menstruating women, associated with PMS, ranging from breast tenderness to nausea to anger and irritability. Any physical changes affect the mood of a person.

4. Breaking the Woman’s Rules -

When something incredibly stupid is done to cause harm, a woman’s temper is no different than a man's. Anyone who gets hurt, physically or emotionally, can trigger its brainwaves to produce anger.

5. Childhood Experience -

Anybody who grew up with an environment where people express themselves with anger would be acting the same, most likely in dealing with stress or any kind of depressions. For someone who easily gets angry maybe a product of his/her childhood way of getting someone’s attention.

Whatever it is causing your partner to have the bad temper, it is important that you know how to deal with it. First, never gone wild with her. Second, avoid doing the things that make her angry over and over again. Others would advice that if a wife gets angry, the husband should run - just run and don't look back. Then buy a ring and give it to her, jewelry softens an angry woman's temper like nothing else. It is not because a woman is after presents. Anything that represents something that you remembered her would do. After all, it’s the thoughts that count! And for women, whenever you get angry, don’t count the thoughts yet, count one to a hundred to lower the anger before you say something harsh that you might regret forever.

Of all the things happening, most especially during misunderstanding and war between you and your partner, pray that anger would ease. Temper produces anger, and anger is a product of the devil to destroy families. There’s no one else better to approach during these times than God Who knows how to bring back the harmony to your relationship.

“Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”
- Proverbs 16:32 (NIV)

Little Things We Ignore

Skin Care 0001



It's always the little things that we tend to ignore especially nowadays that we seldom find time to analyze things up.

Take a look at these things that you may be unaware of, things that may be your regular habits and can add up to lines and wrinkles.


• Doing the squint. We do squinting when we don’t see things clearly. If you wear glasses or contacts, make sure your prescription is up-to-date. It is also an important thing to wear sunglasses outside on all but the cloudiest days of the year. This will keep you from squinting, and with UV protective lenses, they'll also protect the delicate skin around the eyes from incurring sun damage.

• Chin in your hand. As the old guys would always say in our place, resting your chin in your hand is not a good omen. It is just a saying but the truth is, besides making you look bored and tired, this pose pulls and stretches the skin around your eyes, cheeks, and chin. Over time, you lose elasticity and firmness.

• Using cotton pillowcase. Sleeping on a cotton pillowcase sounds like the most absurd of beauty myths, but dermatologists say that the creases in cotton gradually contribute to creases in your skin. Get your beauty sleep on a satin pillowcase instead.

• Using the straw. Dentists say, sipping through a straw will help protect teeth from stains. But dermatologists warn that it will also create fine lines around your mouth.

• Pulling down the skin. During the busy times at work, we may not notice that we scratch our face so hard that we don’t notice we’re already pulling it down. Doing this regularly can make your face to sag. Women who put eyeliner tend to pull down the lower eyelid that tends the eye bag to sag. Be careful in doing this because we don’t have fats around the eyes, thus skin tends to sag easily. This is why we put moisturizers most on the skin around the eyes.

Love your skin. Try everything you know to avoid anything that damages your skin. We need to be more observant, not paranoid.

Q&As 0001

Sharing one of the issues responded by Arda Torres posted on Women's blogs.

Concern: My Husband cheated on me and now he has a baby on the way.....

Me and my husband have been together for 10 years but married for 7 years. We have 2 kids boy and a girl. Our relationship has been rocky ever since the birth of my daughter last year in April. He was ready to leave but then we said that we would work things out 4 months after my daughter was born. I found out that I was pregnant again to me that was wonderful because kids are blessings from GOD, but to him it was the most horrible thing that could have happened to him. He was so nasty and ignorant to me and forced me to get an abortion. It broke my mind body and soul to have done that and I have so much anger towards him because of that so our relationship kept having it up and down. That happened last year in Oct. but yesterday some old flusy called me to let me know that she was 6 months pregnant with his baby. I'm so lost my heart hurts so bad I feel like I lost myself I asked him about it and he didn’t deny it he said that he gave her the money for the abortion and she said that she had ir done but she really didn’t....he said that he does not want to lose his family and that when that baby is born he is going to sign his rights over cuz he wants nothing to do with them......sorry that this so long but some advice would really be appreciated because right now breathing hurts.

Arda:

So sad that this thing happens..not only to you but to most women out there. But you have to face reality and be strong for your children. Getting hurt is life's way of making you a stronger person but it doesn't mean that you need to take all the pains. Nobody in this world could ever decide for you, but yourself... no matter how long my responses here would be. You decide now before the pain get to your kids. It's all up to you. Ask yourself now, "Can I bear all the pains I’m going through now?" If yes, how long? Choose between loosing your husband and yourself... if you can live without him, I would say it's better you let go of him. If you cannot stand loosing him, then I would say accept the pain and be prepared for more pains, unless he really meant to change for you and the kids. With all the marriage problems I have been encountering, I would always say, couples who pray and go to church together surpass trials easier. Keep in mind that it is a sin to kill and abortion is a form of killing. So I hope you won’t consider abortion in the future. Pray harder, nothing is better than the divine intervention on your marriage now. God has always plans for you. God bless you!

Understanding the "Writer" in Me

Understanding the "Writer" in me... find it in you too!

I am dedicating this blog to the women of excellence in my life, my Grandma (+), who would always tell me to be better. And to my Nanay (shown with me in the inserted photo), who has grown old but stayed as calm and patient as she has always been, teaching me to be a better woman that I am now.

Admit it! All of us have this “I” inside us. So don’t get carried away if you find the ever famous “I” way too often here. It is not because I am being self-centered (well, maybe sometimes), but because this write-up is about myself being the “writer.” This article was also drawn to my mind to further assert why in the world I write a lot of stuffs. Let me also say that, there is always the “writer” in all of us.

I am a very passionate person. I always have this passion in me that I get to apply into anything I do. I too, am very patient that I tend to give attention to people having an annoying personality to most. So I get to understand almost any form of human individuals I encounter. I am very hard working that I usually want to get focused on anything I am into without stopping to excel.

Like any other individuals, being a Godly woman helped me overcome trials with the blessings God has bestowed me. My work is one of those blessings I would forever be thankful for. With my job now, I get to travel abroad once in awhile and meet people of different cultures.

I finished college out of my own earnings. Being a working student wasn't easy but a rewarding encounter where I have become more courageous to strive harder and soar higher. Luckily, or shall I say it more accurately, I am so blessed that I was given a post graduate scholarship by my present employer at a very prestigious university where I earned another diploma in Purchasing and Supply Chain Management course. I am planning to continue the review and eventually take the CPSM board examination.

The moment I arrive home from work each day, I would immediately turn my computer on and browse the internet while taking a view at my emails. I allot enough time using the net to see anything interesting before resting. It is not an addiction, or maybe to some other terms it is, but I find it something educational because I learn a lot of new things everyday. I have written comic stories with my own illustration from grade school to high school. It was just too unfortunate that my Mom trashed them during our transfer to another house. Being in the brood of artists, it was expected of me I guess to graduate from grade school getting the post of the champion in Art. I was once the school’s representative for an art contest. So I was a good package then, illustrating the ones I wrote.

During my early years at work, I have been a member of our company's editorial staff for our monthly newsletter. Now, being employed by an American company in Manila, I have been given the privilege to be the writer of our division's weekly newsletter, distributed to more or less 350 people here and abroad. This may not be enough to convince you that I really love writing. Over the past years, my experience in writing still needs something to get nurtured with. And this writing blog is the answer. To further enhance my ability to write and expand clearly what’s on my mind. Reaching out for people to understand God’s given precious gift, life.

Understanding women is the theme I chose because a lot of people have this thought that women are hard to explain. I agree it is, because the word “understand” is missing. I would like to express that women have so much to boast and thank God for. I have many to mention. I, myself have reached so much achievements, as much as trials along the way of maturity. Career wise, I have been a constant awardee even during my first employments. I have also received "Best in Leadership Awards" and "Quality Awards” from my past employers. I was also recognized as "Best Promising Agent” during my first few months in a well-known call center company. Up to now, I keep on getting different kinds of recognitions, which I am very thankful for because my Boss is always appreciative of what I do at work.

Well, this is all for now for an introduction. Thank you for taking time to read this starter write-up. I hope you will find all my upcoming articles here much more interesting. I will be tackling about women’s interests, as well as spiritual sides, emotional characters, and all possible issues about women that most men would like to read as well. This is to further help people have better understanding about, and better relationships with their spouses, partners, and children. There will be discussions about the topics posted. Decent questions and consultations will be gladly entertained too.

Take care everyone! Keep reading…and writing as well! God bless you all!